As I looked down at my counter, my heart began to race just a little. I only had two minutes left. Leaning over a small metal table, I was careful in pressing the final replacement gasket around the edges of my breathing mask. I had to make sure that there were no bulges where the seal could come loose--one mistake could literally mean the difference between life and death. It was a risk either way, and after four years of this I was almost beginning to accept it as a normal way of life.
The industrial filtering system of our bunker had recently gone from needing maintenance every two months to every two weeks. It didn't take long for Elliot to make the call for everyone to start wearing their masks even on the upper floor, only taking them off when the seals had to be changed. That decision had likely saved our lives.
Elliot and his brother Jared were still outside with a pressure hose, washing off the thick yellow sludge that developed periodically on our main ventilation fan. The four members of the Mitchell family were in the much safer lower level--two stories below ground and protected with as many safeguards as humanly possible.
All of us still believed we had a decent chance of making it safely into winter--the only time of the year we could actually go on the offensive against this plague. We'd lived our lives in fear for a long time--beginning the moment a simple sneeze or cough meant a person may be dying. By now my own fears were of something much worse than death--becoming so comfortable with our new routines that we'd never go back to who we really were.
Trying not to let my thoughts wander too much, I finished adjusting my mask and took a deep breath. I made sure I had still had plenty of air in both my main and spare tanks. Each main tank lasted between two and three hours, while the emergency tank lasted only around 30 minutes. Twice today we had taken a few minutes to eat in our of "safe room"--the only room on the upper level that had the same high-grade filters we had below.
My radio crackled to life, and I heard Elliot's say, "Hey beautiful, how about a hug?"
I smiled and turned around to seen him and Jared coming through the main door--wet pollen caked on their plastic red suits and falling in the floor in clumps.
"It's getting worse than we thought, Karen," Jared cut in solemnly, "We're probably going to have to up the shifts to once a week soon."
I pretended not to see Elliot smack him in response to his comment. Elliot had always been protective of me--everyone really--but me in particular. Even though I knew just as much as anyone how dangerous our situation was becoming, I appreciated the gesture.
It was getting late, so we decided to call it a day and head back to the lower level. I ended up taking an extra long slower--thankful that at least hot water was never going to be a problem. Our location was one of several that had it's own natural gas line, which we relied on heavily for hot water, heat in the winter, and cooking.
Entering the main living area/communications room, I said hello to Alex and Nadine Mitchell. Alex was on the main computer, talking with several other bases around the country that still had some sort of Internet access. From his grave expression, I could tell we weren't the only ones having problems.
Nadine had her hand on his back and her head turned, staring at their little girl Emily and boy Nathan. They were playing in the floor with a couple of toy cars, oblivious to anything that was going on around them. I envied their innocence.
Jared appeared a short time later, toweling his hair dry and taking a lot of deep breaths--stopping short of hyperventilating. All of us had grown to hate the masks and the suits, but Jared was borderline claustrophobic. It took a lot of mental and psychological energy for him just to do his job, but he rarely complained. Today had just been a hard day for him.
"Hey Karen. Look, I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to go all gloom and doom on you," he said, trying to smile.
"Don't worry about it, Jared. It was information I needed to know."
"What wrong?" Nadine asked.
"Oh, it's nothing we can't handle," he replied, this time with a higher degree of forced confidence, "Like Karen said, don't worry about it."
Alex pushed himself back from the computer and turned toward us, "Where's Elliot? I need to talk to him."
"He should be here any minute," Jared replied, "He turned on the main vacuum this time instead of me, and that always holds you up for another five minutes. I just couldn't wait to get that stuff off of me today."
I suddenly felt a tug on my pant leg, and it was two-year-old Emily wanting to show me her toy car. I bent down to her eye-level.
"Does it go really fast?" I asked.
She nodded with excitement, "And it's blue!"
"Mine's green!" Nathan added.
They then proceeded in letting me judge a couple of their drag races across our coffee table until Elliot appeared about a minute or two later.
"I need to see everyone in the board room in about five minutes," he said as he disappeared back out of the room almost as soon as he entered.
It was very out of character for him to be so serious, and that worried me. Alex and Nadine exchanged understanding glances, and Nadine grabbed the kids to take them back to their room. Alex would have to fill her in on the details later.
That five minutes seems like hours. The plush leather desk chairs in the board room were actually quite comfortable, and I was so tired that I was having to lightly bite my tongue just to stay conscious. I think another part of me just wanted to fall asleep so I wouldn't have to deal with what I was about to hear.
Elliot walked in running his right hand through his dark hair, from his forehead to the back of his scalp. He did this every time he was stressed or nervous.
"I guess before I get into what I have to say, let's hear what you've got Alex."
Alex sighed and took another breath, "I just got word from Dallas and Memphis--they're having the same issues with their ventilation systems as us. Dallas is in almost the exact condition we are--it's going to be tough for them, but they're going to make it through to winter. Memphis thinks they have another month, maybe two, before their whole system just shuts down. It's so much older..."
Alex pinched the bridge of his nose, and we were all silent for a moment as we tried to hold back the tears. Even though we'd never met anyone in Memphis in person, we had made close friends there. We knew there were 26 men, women, and children in the Memphis bunker, but we were too far away to do anything to effectively help them.
Elliot hesitated for a second, like he was searching for the right words but was at a loss to find them.
"I--I don't know how to even say this, but you all need to know. The vacuum seal between the upper and lower levels is failing. I've patched in the best I can, but that's only going to buy us until this winter. We're going to have to start looking at other options before the next spring season."
"Other options?" I replied, "You mean like leaving the bunker?"
"I'm aware of at least three smaller bunkers within a 15 mile radius that could be possibilities--as long as we bring our own food and supplies," Alex offered, "The problem is going to be getting all of us there safely--we're talking hundreds of pounds of equipment with only five adults and two small children."
"What about attaching a couple of filters to one of the trucks?" Jared suggested, "Even if it only got us part of the way, it would save a lot of travel time."
"Good idea," Elliot replied, "Look, let's all sleep on it, and we'll talk again first thing in the morning. I know it's been a long day for everyone."
We said our good nights, and I walked down the hallway to my bedroom. Like everyone else, I knew I wasn't going to get much sleep that night. My thoughts were with the people at the Memphis bunker, and what they must be going through knowing they only had about a month to live.
With the exception of the children, all of us had seen the effects of long-term exposure to Oasis flower pollen, which was considered 10 minutes or longer. According to the age and health of the person, symptoms may not appear for days or even weeks after the initial exposure. Stay out longer than 20 minutes without protection however, and death comes almost instantly.
The first sign is usually sudden and severe sinus congestion and a hacking cough that doesn't go away with medication. Next comes the shortness and eventual loss of breath from the pollen lodging itself in the air sacs of the lungs. The final results are not unlike black lung from long-ago coal miners or someone who has chained-smoked for decades--only it's much faster. Some people had said it's like drowning--a lot of struggle and nowhere to go for relief.
There were originally 14 of us that made it to the bunker almost four years ago. I really didn't get to know seven of the others--Michael, Joshua, Morgan, Brian, Hannah, Jenny, and Susan--except by name. They died within the first month we were here because they didn't make it inside in time. We tried to keep them comfortable--talk with them and that sort of thing. They knew they were going to die though, and it was amazing to see the differences in how people responded to the thought of death.
Nadine was not pregnant with Nathan yet, so the remaining two people besides the five of us were a married couple named Lindsay and Roger. They had lost their two children to the pollen on their way to the bunker, and I think their will to live died with them. About six months later, we woke up to find them missing from the lower level.
Elliot, Jared, and I found their bodies just outside the main door when they went to search for them. They had just laid down on the ground and embraced each other until the end came. It was the most tragic thing I'd ever seen, and I cry every time I think about them.
The rhythm of the ventilation fan in my room was normally a comforting sound, but tonight it was keeping me awake. After about two hours of tossing and turning, I decided to go to the bathroom, which was clear on the other side of the floor. I was about four feet from the door when I noticed it was shut already with the light on. I sat down in the hallway and closed my eyes, rubbing my temples in hopes of getting rid of the headache that was beginning to develop.
The cough from the bathroom was so loud that I almost jumped up from the floor. It was one of the guys, and something was definitely wrong. The coughing continued for several more minutes until the point I was almost about to knock down the door. About that time the toilet flushed, and Elliot opened the door. He just stared at me in shock, his arm holding the door frame and beads of sweat dripping off his face.
"Are you all right?" I asked, even though I knew it was a stupid question.
"I've b-b-been b-b-better," he replied, his body spasming in pain, "P-p-please, don't tell Jared or anyone else yet--I--I--I'm not going to say anything until I know I'm too far gone...s-s-s-spend as much time I can with all of you while I still have time..."
"How did this happen?"
"I-I-I was exposed months ago--g-g-got nervous and took too long to change out the gaskets in my mask. I don't think it was a whole ten minutes, b-b-b-but it was right on the brink of it. There's days my b-b-b-body seems to be fighting it off--then something like this h-ha-happens. The difference this time is I was c-c-coughing up what looked to be pollen before. Th--this time it was blood. I don't know how long I've g-g-got Karen."
I stayed with him until he somehow managed to gain control over the spasms and went back to his room. I opened the bathroom door and splashed some cool water on my face, feeling like I was in a nightmare. We hadn't lost anyone in four years, and now I may be losing my best friend. I'd had some close calls myself. Just that morning, how long had it been? Nine minutes? Nine minutes and thirty seconds? I had concentrated on the mask too much to be sure, and it wasn't like the timing was an exact science.
As if on cue, I suddenly felt it. My chest began to feel constricted, like an invisible force was pressing on it. I took a breath, but no air came. Gasping over and over, I tried to make it out the bathroom door to the hallway. How could this have happened so quickly? I'm not ready to die. Please God, I'm not ready...
I watched helplessly as the floor came closer to my face, and my vision tunneled into a small point of light.
"Look, her eyes are moving!" Jared shouted, his voice ringing in my ears.
I groaned as I felt a cold wet cloth sweeping across my face. I opened my eyes to see I was laying on the living room couch with Elliot sitting in a chair next to me. Jared was monitoring the computer, and Nadine, Alex, and the kids were nowhere to be seen.
"Welcome back Sleeping Beauty," he said, "You took a pretty nasty fall. What happened?"
"I don't know. I really thought I was dying. My chest got all tight, and I couldn't breathe..."
"Panic attack," Jared said from the computer, looking over at me, "I get them, too--happens to me at night. First time you've had one?"
I nodded and closed my eyes again. Elliot kissed me on the head and told me he'd be right back. I slept for the rest of the day.
Three months later, December 12, 2049
We had just finished packing our transport truck and were making the final touches on sealing up the back. Our destination was about 15 minutes away going at a speed of 60 mph, faster when possible. The new bunker was already inhabited, but there was plenty of room for seven more.
Little Nathan and Emily were engulfed and safe in the two adult red suits. Nadine and I had the better masks, while Elliot, Jared and Alex had three of the older ones, which was better than nothing. Most of the pollen in the air had settled to the ground, but the truck was likely going to stir some of it up.
A crumbling road was covered by a thin layer of snow and lined for miles and miles with Oasis blooms. There were several different colors now--crytalized masses of blue, red, yellow, purple, and even silver. It was extremely beautiful and haunting at the same time. As soon as we had a moment of cold and dry weather, we would torch them all in fires that would spread for miles. It was the only thing that had kept them under control for so long. Part of me feared that the plants had even adapted to that tactic, and that this would be our last winter. I tried to keep those thoughts buried however.
Elliot was a walking miracle, after all. He'd survived these past three months and to my knowledge had no relapse in his symptoms. Maybe he was just hiding it well. In either case, he didn't waste a moment in his life.
Part of my attitude in that area had also changed. One day last month I finally told Elliot I loved him--really loved him, and he felt the same way about me. Having no minister in the bunker, Elliot had Alex as second-in-command perform a simple wedding ceremony with Jared as best man and Nadine as my maid-of-honor. It was the first day of true happiness I'd had in a long time, and it renewed some of my hope for the future.
The back of the truck had no safety belts, Nadine, the kids, and I were swaying back in forth in response to every turn. Elliot was driving, Alex had the map, and Jared had a rifle--just in the unlikely case we ran into trouble.
We were about a mile away from the other bunker when we hit the sheet of black ice. I literally floated in mid-air for a split second before I slammed into the metal side of the truck. When I managed to pick myself off the floor, my right arm dangled limp like it was broken and a stream of blood was flowing down my face. Nadine had landed in the floor and appeared to be unconscious. Both of the kids were crying but appeared to be all right.
The guys would've hit the windshield or dashboard if it wasn't for their belts, and they were quick to make their way back to us. Jared, who had some medical training in the military, was able to help me pop my shoulder back into place. I was able to get movement back, though the swelling was going to be bad. The cut on my head was fortunately not deep enough to need stitches, so I used a bandage from our first aid kit.
We half-walked/half-ran the final mile in the brutal cold, having to cross an entire field of Oasis blooms. I cringed each moment the flowers crushed under my feet, fearing a burst of pollen was going to come out of them. Both mine and Nadine's masks were broken in the crash and Emily's suit had torn. All of the guys were now going without masks, leaving us only eight minutes to get to the bunker.
With about three minutes to spare, Elliot rang the buzzer of the bunker. A man came to the door, and Elliot's face suddenly turned pale in sheer terror. In all the years we'd known him and all we'd been through, I couldn't understand why he was frightened instead of relieved.
"All of you can come in--except him," the man said, pointing at Elliot.
All of us turned to Elliot, not knowing what to say or do.
"Listen to him," Elliot finally said,"You can trust him."
"Trust him?!" I shouted, "This man wants to leave you here to die! I won't leave you out here."
"She doesn't know, does she?" the man said, looking at Elliot.
His eyes teared up as he pleaded with us, "Everyone, just go inside. Please."
Jared gently put his hand on my shoulder, "We have to go inside now--before it's too late."
My mind was running wildly. All the memories of the past four years flooded my mind, and I suddenly knew the pain that Lindsay and Roger had felt about their children. I couldn't imagine my life without Elliot. Breaking away from Jared, I ran into Elliot's arms. I didn't care what the problem was between him and the man at the door, but I was not going to go inside without him.
Another minute had passed. We had about two more minutes left before we'd be exposed for too long.
I held on to Elliot and told him over and over again how much I loved him.
"I don't deserve your love," he replied, holding me back a little and not making eye contact with me "I've lied to you. I've lied to you a lot. You don't even know who I am--and you never would have if it wasn't for us coming here!"
"I don't care, Elliot! I know you--I know the person you've become in the past four years. You're the man who risked your life to save us so many times I've lost count. If it wasn't for you, we'd be dead right now."
"If it wasn't for me, none of this would've ever happened!" he suddenly shouted, "I worked on the Oasis project, Karen. Not only that, but It was my responsibility to destroy the last of the experimental seeds--burn them, crush them--anything that would've killed them! But I didn't--the things looked so damn harmless and beautiful that I dumped them in that field. I'm a murderer Karen--mine and Jared, Alex and Nadine's family. I'm responsible for all of it!"
My heart was crushed by what I was hearing. I really wanted to forgive him right at that moment--for what he did and all the lies, but I couldn't. It was going to take time that we didn't have.
The door opened again, and the same man was at the door.
"Last chance," he said, looking at me.
"Go, Karen," Elliot said softly.
As the door was shut, the man at the door introduced himself as Martin Caden and handed me a new protective suit.
"You can go back out there and spend your last moments together," he said, "I promise I'll let you back in when its over."
He was so cold and calm about Elliot dying, like it was more of a business decision than a man's life.
"Why are you doing this, Martin?" I asked, "It's not like Elliot wanted this to happen--can't you forgive him?"
"It's not just me," Martin replied, "Years ago I really would've wanted vengeance, but there's people down there that would want to do worse to your husband than the death he faces out there. It's not about whether he meant to do it or not as it is having something to take their pain and fear out on. Just make your peace and ring the buzzer when you want back inside."
Elliot's eyes grew wide as I came back out in the suit.
"Please Karen, you don't want to see me die like this. I'm so sorry."
I didn't say anything and sat down on the ground and let him lay his head on my lap. I held his head and stroked his hair, and my tears did not stop coming as he began to cough and gasp for his last breaths.
"I love you!" he managed to cry.
"I love you, too."
Then he was gone, and something in me broke. I ripped off the suit and ran into the cold dry field of Oasis blooms and laid down on the ground--right in the middle of the field.
Elliot was right. They were beautiful.
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